A Feeling of Fear

I have a fear of success.  I wasn't aware of this fear until I had to send copyedits back to my editor.  Maybe it was when she mentioned that this was my last chance to make my story look like I want it to when published.

DANG!  That's pressure.  I mean, this is it.  I'm sending my baby out into the world, and I'm nervous about the reception.  Hubby said, "All you can do is your best, and you know some people still aren't going to like it."  How very...me, of him.  It's something I would say to him, and you know what?  It might be true, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.  (Note to self:  revisit my motivational speeches.  I think some just serve to piss people off rather than pep them up).

Anyway, although I sent the copyedits back, my fear still lingers.  What if I really do suck, and they just needed a warm body and that's why they said yes?  What if it was a fluke, and I can never do it again?  What if I spend waaaay too much time worrying about things I have no control over?  Okay, that last one's true, and I know it.  What I don't know is if this fear will ever go away, no matter how many copyedits I get lucky enough to make it to.

At any rate, all I know is, even with that crazy fear twisting around inside me, I did still send those copyedits back.  I guess the one good thing to come out of this is even though I'm afraid, I can and do face my fears--good outcome or bad (fingers crossed it's good, only good ;0))

Happy Writing!

Celebrate Good Times, Come On!

This crazy roller coaster I've been riding lately is crazy climbing again.  I finally completed my very long, very time-consuming school counseling internship, and I got my very first copy edits yesterday.  Good news all around.

Listening and making people feel better is one of my strengths, so a few (100) years ago, I began working toward a Master's degree in school counseling.  Today, I completed that very long process.  My stress isn't over yet though.  I have to pass a comprehensive exam and graduate officially, but it's going to happen, and I never thought I'd make it to this point, so I'm *happy dancing* all over the place.

Furthermore, I opened my e-mail yesterday, and my editor had sent copy edits my way.  Well, let me tell you, I had heard the copy edit version looks more like the published product, and it was so true.  For the first time ever, I saw the title page of my story--the copyright page of my story.  I was giddy with excitement, and I can't wait for the next and the next and the next step in this amazing process.

Now, time to write and write and write on my current WIP.  I should have more time to devote to it--in an ideal world, and all that.

What's your good news?

Happy Writing!

How Thick Is Your Skin?

I finished my edits on Into the Fire and sent them off to my editor.  Wow, I always imagined using those words, but the reality is way better.

Of course, within a day of this mood-elevating event, I received another dreaded rejection for a paranormal story pitch for Harlequin, and drew a relatively realistic conclusion that I didn't place in another contest.  Even with all the good things that have been happening lately, these rejections still hit me hard.  I literally wanted to cry because it brought up all my fears of not being able to make my writing more than a hobby.  I want to make it a career, and I thought I was on a roll.

BUT, something is different.  When I received a rejection before, it took me weeks to recover, to want to write again, but this time I couldn't wait to get back in front of my latest WIP.  What was the difference?  Has my skin grown thicker?  Actually, the truth of what it means to be a career writer hit me.  One acceptance doesn't mean I'll never have to feel the sting of rejection again, but it does mean that a rejection doesn't have nearly the power over me that it used to.

I've written about rejection quite a bit on this blog, mostly because I am early in my career, and I know it will be a concern to me for a long while to come, so that's why I refuse to allow a rejection to keep me from writing.  The true key to a long-term writing presence is not acceptance after acceptance.  It is persistence in the face of rejection.

So is rejection getting you down?  Are you thinking of throwing up your hands and giving up?  What keeps you going?

Happy Writing!

Editing is Not a Quick Process

So, I'm editing my manuscript right now and figuring out how to use track changes all over again.  It has been a slow process because I'm re-reading, blushing at my obvious errors, and making more changes as I go.  As the process got more and more tedious, I was tempted to just throw my hands up, accept all the changes, and send it back to my editor.  The truth is though, the perfectionist in me wouldn't let me do something like that.  But today, I read a blog by one of the Wild Rose Press editors at http://behindthegardengate.blogspot.com/ and it became clear that there are authors who do exactly what I was tempted to do and send back the manuscript the next day.  Unfortunately, this sends the wrong message to the editor who worked so hard to go through the manuscript, trying to make it publishable.  The authors who did this though argued that they needed to get their books out as quickly as possible, and it takes months to actually publish, even online.  Yet, if your goal is to build an audience, wouldn't the best possible product, one that the author really cared enough to make as perfect as possible, be a manuscript that had been gone over several times.  As the editor from Wild Rose Press expressed--it's not a fast food kind of process.

What do you think though?  Is a quick publication worth a rush on the editing?  Is there a hard and fast rule when it comes to quality?  I'd be interested in what you think.

Happy Writing!

My Failures Have Served Me Well

I LOVE Top Chef, probably to an obsessive degree.  My children know it as "Mommy's Show."  But, due to circumstances beyond my control, I didn't get to see the finale until yesterday (thank you, DVR).  I won't give anything away, but one thing Richard Blais, one of the final competitors, said toward the beginning of the show stuck with me.  He said, "My failures have served me well."

Let me give a quick history, so you can understand where I'm going with this.  You see, he competed on the show once before.  This season was an Allstars show, and the competitors were all the great contestants who didn't win the title of Top Chef during their seasons.  Hands down, Richard was the favorite to win during his season, but, in his words, "choked."

But, rather than go in with the attitude that he had to redeem himself (although there was a little bit of that), he really tried to focus on cooking his food, his way, and admitted losing the first time had given him an insight that his other competitors didn't have.  He'd had an "epic fail" the others hadn't, and his drive and focus were unwavering this time around.

So, have your failures served you well?  Mine have, and they still do.  I wrote a manuscript that nobody but my mom liked.  I've entered contests where I didn't even come close to finaling.  I've been rejected quite a few times, by agents and editors.  But from each of these experiences, I learned something and grew as a writer.  I know my failures aren't over.  There will be many more, but my attitude toward them has changed.

In this month's RWR, J. R. Ward discusses something similar.  She is open and honest about how devastating it was when her publisher dropped her years ago.  It felt like the end of the world, and she tells about crying in the parking lot of Whole Foods.  But she didn't stay down.  She started writing The Black Dagger Brotherhood series to do something new and different--to reinvent herself.  It was perfect timing and great writing.  Without a doubt, you probably know the rest of the story.  She is now Bestselling Author J. R. Ward.

So what does this mean for you and me?  How can we learn from our failures?  Start small.  Find someone you trust to read your work.  Let them give an honest criticism, and get ready for the feeling of failure.  But don't let it discourage.  Let it encourage.  Sure, there will be things to fix, but if you really are trying for a writing career, now you're one step closer because you've learned something about the craft of writing.  Rather than shut yourself off from failure, embrace it.  Find the kernal of goodness in what didn't work with your writing, and make it better.

Agents and editors want to see your best work, but in the end, it's all subjective, so the more eyes that see your writing before you send it out, the better you'll be able to weather a few problems along the way and make your story the best it can possibly be.

Happy Writing!

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What's That Book Got That Mine Don't?

What does the published book represented by your dream agent or published by your dream publishing house have that yours doesn't?  Besides good timing, you'd be surprised.  Literary agent Scott Eagan shared a story about a writer who wanted to write for the Silhouette line so badly, that she literally honed her writing to sound just like the books she was reading.  Now, before you go trying to figure out how to paraphrase a published book, that's not at all what he meant.  She studied certain aspects of the published books until she could write her stories with their format.  I'm not talking formula here either, though in a way, you can see patterns.

We are all working on our craft and learning at our own pace, so often we might not honestly be at the stage where we can objectively look at what's on the shelves now, and what about it appealed to our Top Ten agents/editors.  And, before I get too far, let me just say that Susan Meier does a great series of blogposts on this very subject, so I suggest you check them out at http://susanmeierworkshops.blogspot.com/2010/10/how-to-analyze-books-you-read.html

She has terrific ideas for how to analyze the books you read.  But there are other aspects that she doesn't really get into when it comes to analyzing a book of a particular line.  The truth is, different lines publish different kinds of books.  Sure two different houses might both publish vampire stories, but as Scott Eagan said, "the vampire from one line wouldn't hang out with the vampire from the other line."  There are differences, and if you want to work with a particular agent or editor, you need to identify those differences.

So, what do we need to look at?  I am targeting a particular line myself and have known I would like to write for them for a while, but I haven't submitted to them yet because my story just didn't seem right for them, even to me, but I wasn't sure why until I started analyzing some of the published books from that line.  These are the things I looked hard and nit-picky at:

• Hook--Not just what it is, but how is it different from others before it.
• Beginnings--I have heard not to start with dialogue, and I've also heard a great way to start is with dialogue.  So, which is it?  It probably depends on which line you want to write for.  Once you've studied a few published books, you'll have an idea.
• Dialogue vs. Narrative--I literally pulled out a highlighter and marked all the dialogue in the first chapter of each of my test books.  What did I notice?  Most of the first chapter was narrative in which the internal and external conflict of at least one of the main characters was revealed interspersed with meaningful dialogue.
• Sexual tension--How much, how is it revealed, are the stages of intimacy obvious?  Everyone knows you can't submit erotica to Love Inspired, but even an inspy line will have some romantic tension.  If you are targeting that line, you need to know how published authors were able to work that out.
• Character description--Some publishing lines are okay with a quick stats rundown of hair color, eye color, height, etc.  Others call for subtlety.  Read some published books and note in the margin when you get a visual of the character.  How was it revealed?
• Backstory--Once again, people get anxious that they have too much backstory or not enough backstory.  How do you know?  There's no definitive answer.  This is one where, once again, you have to consult those that made it to the shelves.
• Gender--For me, it's important to see what kind of heroes and heroines the line looks for and how he or she handles the dialogue, narrative, and description from each point of view.  Certain lines have only the Alphaist of Alphas, some allow Betas, and some have a hybrid that I have heard called a Balpha.  It's important to study and figure out whether the line you want to write for has the same kind of heroes and heroines that star in your book.

These are only a few items you want to look at to see whether what you write would ever fit at the publishing house with which you dream of working someday or is written in a way that would appeal to the agent you hope to snag.

Can you think of characteristics that stand out in the books from the authors or publishing houses you love?  This is the key to getting noticed and hopefully published.

Happy writing!

Coming to You Live

Currently I am sitting in KYRW Spring Into Writing conference with literary agent Scott Eagan.I am learning so much about what NOT to do when it comes to submitting to agents and editors.  First and foremost, I learned that I am soooo NOT ready!

But I am learning how to get ready, and that is exciting.  I have oodles to blog about this week, including some pictures of the places we went (not at all related to Dr. Suess).  Here's a little tidbit that I've heard but it finally clicked:  I need to know who I want as my publisher and where my work fits RIGHT NOW.  Why?  I'll go into more detail later, but agents need to know if your writing would even work there because it really doesn't every where.

Duh!

I will also give more detail on how you go about doing that because, let's face it, we don't know what's going on in agent's and editor's heads, most of the time.  I mean, come on, my book is THE best thing EVER (thick sarcasm intended).

But I've taken good notes and even did a pitch, so I will spill my thoughts on all of it this week.  If you comment within the next two hours, I can ask him right now.

Happy writing!

Tuesday Tips

Progress Update:

I still have five submissions out right now, and I added one more to bring the total to six little pieces of me out into the world.  I've sent queries and synopses out to three online publishers for my short story Into the Fire.  I've also entered the same short story into the Stroke of Midnight Contest with Passionate Ink.  I've heard back from one editor who requested the manuscript.  I did a final edit and sent it out to her.

I've also entered a YA short story in a flash fiction contest with WOW Women on Writing.  I have no idea when I'll hear anything about that, but the contest closes February 28th, so there is still time to enter a short story (750 words) if you are interested.  The link can be found in one of my earlier posts.

Finally, I sent a personal essay to Sasee Magazine, a magazine geared toward women who live on the lower eastern coast of the U. S.  It is a long shot that they'll publish it, but it was worth a try.

So, how do I keep track of all these, especially when I plan to add another submission in March and still maintain the six that are out?  I have an Excel spreadsheet that helps me keep everything straight.  Now I am so not a spreadsheet kind of person, but I like this because all the information I need is in one document and whenever any news on a submission comes in, I can update it there.  Another reason for me to keep track came up recently--TAXES.  As a writer who has every intention of getting published and building a career, I need to keep track of my trials and (hopefully) successes.  I need to show that I am trying at least.  The Excel document helps me do that.

If you're interested in seeing my spreadsheet and how I use it, send me an e-mail and I'll send you my latest version.

So how do you keep track of what is going out and the messages you get back?  Have you tried different systems?  What works for you?

To end with a little fun, here is a very silly video all about using Excel:


Happy writing!

In Editing Mode

I am def in editing mode now.  I queried and received a request Friday for my short story manuscript.  I'm not going to give details because I don't want to jinx anything, but before I submit, I'm going through one more time and getting info back from one of my beta readers today or tomorrow, so fingers crossed all goes well.

Even if I don't have a fantastically witty, remarkably insightful blogpost this time though doesn't mean I don't have something important to share.  Take note of the following amazing opportunity coming up.  The registration isn't up yet, but will be soon.

"Third Annual Spring Into Writing Workshop with Scott Eagan of Greyhaus Literary Agency on Saturday, March 19, 2011

9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.

Along with the session, Scott will listen to pitches from attendees."

That Darn Internal Editor

How do you turn off your internal editor?  If you're a writer or not, you probably have that voice in your brain that nags and nags.  Freud called it the Superego.  I call it annoying.

I am in editing mode lately.  I successfully reduced a story that I'd written for a flash fiction contest (see post below) from 2000+ words to 730 without losing the best parts of the story.  Now don't get me wrong.  I like this story.  It is a scene within a larger novel that I am currently writing and loving, but I've had to rip it out of the hands of my internal editor because, darn her, she won't let it go.  I read the flash fiction story again today and itched to tweak this and that, saw way too many SVO (subject verb object) sentences, and wanted to rush off an apology for the horrible writing which I'd subjected the judges for the contest to.  Doubt swarmed me, and suddenly, my editor started talking round and round in my head and confusing the daylights out of me.

I wasn't sure what to do except walk away and hope for the best.  Harder than it looks.  In the words of Daniel Tosh, "It's like trying to act all bad while winking."  Who you kidding?  But, fortunately for my latest habit of wasting too much time on blogs and such, I found this little nugget on the Istoria Book blog, http://www.istoriabooks.blogspot.com/.  It pretty much shows the WORST editor ever (there may be a few just as bad), and gave me a laugh while sending my own internal editor back to the hole in my brain where she usually hides.

Maybe now I can relax and be patient for the results, whatever they may be. 

Leave a comment with any tricks you have to make that nagging know-it-all go away?

Happy Writing!

Fall Break

Sharkey and the kids have the whole week off for Fall Break. It's like Spring Break, only not. I, on the other hand, get a cheaper version. Mine starts Wednesday, so I have to go to school Monday and Tuesday.

Yes, I considered being a bad teacher and calling in sick, but I just couldn't bring myself to do that to some poor substitute teacher for one thing, and I have so much to accomplish in those two measly days besides, so I will dutifully attend school the next two days and only whine a little bit about it.

On another note, I checked out a blog at http://www.seekerville.blogspot.com/ and ended up sending a pitch for editor Lia Brown at Avalon. Mine was one of five sent her way, with the truth-serum that she might look at them and go on her merry way, deciding mine is not what she is looking for. Still, the heart hopes, and I have a pitch in front of an editor.

But the ladies at Seekerville are celebrating the site's birthday with prizes in the form of books and critiques, so check it out if you get a chance.

Happy writing!